Scrabble Story (written June 7, 2016)

We went to the pub to have a beer. As I opened the door, we saw a thug riled at the barkeep, insisting on rum for his companion, a nun. Rexes, a tsar from Texas, lay down on the lawn and said “Wow!” If I was sane, I would have left right then. 

The Jedi showed off judo moves and taught me the Art of Qi. My Qi was engaged and I felt as centered as 12 AM. The oak shaded the Mod, while he lit a roach; he gave the eye and said, “I’d offer you a tip. You’re Fine.” “Fa,” I replied; I didn’t give a flip what he thought as I walked across the lawn. The chef cooked beans on the stove and encouraged us to graze on Total cereal. The Mod picking lices from his pubic area was drole.

PS: Thanks to B. for the great Scrabble Game.

Clarifying Thoughts

“I’ve been quiet for too long

And I don’t want to be silent any longer.”

You expressed something

That’s been rattling around

In my soul for the last few months.

I’ve was voiceless for too long

It’s time to speak up, to be seen

I won’t be bullied by society anymore

I need to speak up for those who can’t

Part of me feels fear

Fear of repercussions for the people I love

Yet…

I need to speak and be heard

Not speaking means silencing the heart

Life gives us an opportunity

To step out of your comfort zone

To grow means pushing forward

Stepping into the unknown

Makes your heart beat a little faster

Online vs. Reality

There is no "should" in life
It's alright not to follow the crowd
Many times online
Equals disconnection from real life

Everyone has to listen to
Their own inner voice

Finding balance and clarity
Is difficult in a world
That tries to pull your attention
in 50 different directions

The silence can nurture
Online chatter can isolate
If you fall into its web

Cracked wide open

My heart trembles

Looking to be cracked wide open

Surging with electricity

My body aches

For a gentle touch

Tracing down my arm

My hands caressing

Smooth skin and a tender heart

Eyes are mirrors

Reflecting each others’

Hopes and dreams

Not held back by inner fears

Pull my heart apart

Dive in deep

Release my darkness

Does it resemble your own?

My heart rattles in my chest

Knowing more than I see

Been living too practical for too long

Now seeing the divine

Moment by moment

Day by day

And the rain was purple this afternoon...

I was exchanging thoughts with a friend on how music moves us and how we are affected when a beloved musician dies. Since she was thinking about the moon and music, I realized how important the moon’s imagery is to us. So many artists refer to the moon, since we use its light to illuminate our path and the metaphor of the mood can reflect our emotions.

Photo by BigFoto.com

Music moves our soul; it assists us mere mortals in expressing thoughts we can’t usually put into words-the sublime. So many people are sharing thoughts, listening to music, and reflecting today. It’s time to move forward, to no longer be afraid of one’s shadow, and to let your voice be heard. I’m no longer living in the shadows. I am ready to open my heart to life.

My thoughts have made me want to reach out to others; especially my favorite songwriter to let him know how much his spirit, his words and voice have meant to me over the years.

Thank you to my fellow Minnesotan for making us appreciate life and love though your music. Your death has left many of us stunned, but we haven’t forgotten to embrace life a bit more tonight. There will be dance parties to remember and celebrate you tonight.

Musings for Tonight.

I have put off nurturing my creative spirit. I’ve misplaced my ability to unravel a story, to enrapture myself and others into a fable.  Did I lose my muse, or did my muse lose me?

Photo by BigFoto.com

My dear muse, I know you are out there…sometimes I feel you trying to capture my attention, but I’m lost in a tangle of cobwebs and paper. I have lost my joy at times, but I’m working  my way to find it again. I have glimmers of it, when I’m in a crowded place and the music is loud. We are all dancing, to get lost in the music, to find ourselves, to feel a sense of belonging, to know all is right in that exact moment, to become one with the universe.

The music bathes us as we are all covered in sweat and dirt, the musicians, the dancers; the audience becomes part of the spectacle. Afterwards, women only a few years older than me can claim or accuse, “I saw you out there dancing.” They think I’m one of the young ones, but I’m only a mirror, reflecting whatever they choose to see. I am neither young nor old; I just am here-never really blending in or belonging, yet not completely out of place.

I’ve spent too many years “on pause”, uncertain and unsure. I left my old life, but didn’t start a new one. Merely worked, spent time with the kids, and healed old wounds (primordial wounds from childhood). I spent 7 years nurturing the kids and me. Found my way to a job closer to home.

2015 was a strange transition year. I attempted dating, and made some bad judgments. I can’t blame my intuition for my mistakes, because I had simply refused to honor and listen to it. The beginning of this year, I’ve dusted myself off and forgive myself, certain now that I will honor and listen. I want to embrace life, have fun, and explore the world a bit more. Move forward – hit play and record. 2016 is going to be a beautiful, incredible, and humbling adventure.