Not Yet...Yet When?

Title: Not yet…yet when?

The first quiet moment

Of an action packed day.

My heart quietly aches

No potential best friend/lover

On the horizon

Will anyone come close?

Thinking back on this

Strange month

It could have been

The greatest troll in history.

If so, all I have to say is:

“Well played, good sir.”

It could have been

Completely genuine

But he’s too used to the pain

Of current patterns

And misdirected thoughts.

It could have been…

Yet, it’s just words

I’m holding out for something more,

Something substantial, something real.

_____________________________

Don’t get me wrong

I’m thankful for all that’s incredible

And wonderful in this life.

Much gratitude.

~~~Written Oct. 25, 2019 at 11:50pm

Stuck in park (poem)

I wounded my own pride

Last Friday

Keep hoping to find a man

Who’s available

Who’s forthright

A gentleman who’s willing

To take a chance

On a plain and kind woman like me

I had hit a wall a few years before

And had taken for granted

I wouldn’t feel sexual again

I had made peace with that

It’s exhausting how many boys

Want to just jangle my keys at bit
Rev my engine, 
and shift back into park

Yet, here I am again

My engine’s been revved

In a theatre of the mind

My wheels are seized up

Will I ever be allowed to drive?

I need to be open

Yet guarded with my heart

There’s so much to be

In this life

Within all the beauty and pain,

I’m at peace with being on my own

-written Sept. 30, 2019

Online Dating Blues

I’m not looking for strictly platonic,

Although being friends is necessary

For there to be something more

Something mindful and intimate

I’m a woman who’s done seeking

Feeling myself centered on

Being grateful and kind to me

Wary of the men seeking

As it appears the ones seeking me

Are not available, open or free

Casual encounters are too cold

Disconnected and feeling dejected

From the isolation of moving too fast

Miscellaneous romance is too random

Might even make me rant and rave

About the good old days

When people went on real dates.

Does that leave us as merely

Missed connections?

Forgetting to be human, 

To be open and free?