The woman who keeps breaking her own heart

I keep finding unique ways to break my own heart.

Photo from Bigfoto

My heart got too attached too quickly, which scared me too much. I felt too deeply, too much lust, love, infatuation. So I cracked myself open too soon, too intensely. It was a unique way to push a really cool, open guy away. 

I have managed to break my own heart this week, mainly by not being able to step back and allowing things to naturally unfold. It would have been a beautiful mystery to unravel together.

We were both very honest about who we were; it was refreshing and quite addictive. The way we touched, how he kissed me. His touch was firm and gentle; he knew intuitively how to caress me.

I’ve been deprived of kisses and a certain type of physical connection for a while, and it shook my core too much. [Besides being divorced for 10 years, I had been married to someone who didn’t need physical affection like I did. He didn’t like hugs or kisses, so I have spent the majority of my life without affection.]

Maybe a part of me felt like he was keeping me at arm’s length emotionally. My hope is to find someone who is willing to just take a risk, and be willing to open their heart and mind to any possibility. [None of us can predict what could happen if two people are able to let go and trust. It could be a thing of great beauty, intensely sensual and pure bliss.]

I believe we are all works in progress. Each a bit flawed, with our own imperfections, flaws, and uniqueness. Yet, that is what makes a person attractive, their uniqueness.

I really do have a good life. This week, I’ll need to be extra gentle and remind myself of all of the beauty, sweetness and good here in my corner of the world. At least I was willing to take a chance, and there are beautiful lessons in this.

Many kinds of Sad Songs...

I was thinking the other day about Sad Songs, since there are many different types.

Some sad songs make you slightly ill, since they are treacle-filled glurge-fests, guaranteed to rot your teeth and mind.



I'll leave it to you to sort out your thoughts on that...

Other sad songs strike you on many different levels. This one is sad, since it reminds me of my childhood, as well as makes me feel guilty as a parent at the same time.



OK, if this song scares the songwriter to death, why did he decide to take us along on that journey?

Some songs are sad, because they speak to a person on a whole new level. A song that seems to speak to your very soul.



Why does this one make me feel like I've experienced this journey in too many lifetimes?

Finally, there can be sad songs that make you happy.


"It's just a sad song, and it won't take long..."