It is definitely what I miss the most. In this house, I can continually hear the upstairs neighbors. I hear when he stomps around, I hear when he "lectures" his elders, I hear when he squeaks his bed. [That is getting very annoying, as he seems to do it continually when I am awake and in my living room. If I get up in the middle of the night and check my email, he starts that damn bed squeaking again. It's something I really don't want to ponder in any way, shape or form...I am most disturbed by it when I have the kids here. I already presume he's not to be trusted around children and that squeaking further cements it.]
I realize; it's all completely my fault. I picked here to live. The choice in this small town is very slim, as far as affordable rent (with fairly safe location) goes. I know that it is best for me to by as close as possible to where the kids live.
So, I need to find my own ways to cope. I have noticed that my creative process has really closed down since living here. A huge part of it is this house. The feeling of being monitored (even just audibly) has shut me down. I'm trying very hard lately to try to work around this feeling of repression.
I hope I can. It has altered me for the worse to not try to be creative in some way.
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