It's August

This summer has gone by way too fast. I haven't done as much as I hoped as far as getting out and doing things. I was lucky enough to be able to see a couple of shows and have spent much time with the young ones, but I really haven't found a good way to "get out there" (so to speak).

I'm outgoing and shy at the same time. I also don't want to misinterpret things with people or mistake kindness for something more. I do believe in this world we can all use more friends. And that perhaps I need to learn to be a friend to others.

I know that I'm different from others. Sometimes it feels like I can see the world at 2 different levels at the same time. I know that it may be more difficult for me to find a relationship with another person because of this. After all, I had a partnership with someone and walked away from it. I have to be realistic about my own inabilities.



Of course, I did have someone do a spiritual reading for me a few weeks ago. Part of me felt a bit disappointed with it, because part of it reflected something an old friend once said to me. "Don't worry about your purpose. Just be there for your kids."

The reason why that disappoints me is that I've always wanted to show my kids that they could do anything they put their mind to. That they could make all of their dreams come true if they worked hard at it and approached life with an honest, loving heart.

Yet, I'm being told I can't have a purpose because I'm a Mom...

I do know, cherish and count my blessings every day because of my 3 little ones...please don't misunderstand that. I feel incredibly fortunate to have them in my life. I just wish I could find fulfillment within other areas of my life. To stop feeling so unsettled and in the way...

There are no easy answers in life. We all have to muddle though the best we can.